Note: This is a creation of Products of My Imagination (PoMI).  This is not a
true virus, and if the symptoms provided here are in anyway similar to that of
a real Internet Virus (which I have yet to see) then please tell me.  All
questions and comments may be sent to chu_bear@hotmail.com unless it's a
complaint, in which case the e-mail should be directed to billg@microsoft.com.

***

To: Whoever-you-are@theterminal
From: "Products of My Imagination" (chu_bear@hotmail.com)
Re: New Virus Alert

***

In response to a question posed by Keith Varnes at the Computer Virus Myths
web  site (http://www.kumite.com/myths) as to why someone doesn't create an 
e-mail virus with the subject line "New Virus Alert" that, when opened, will 
pop out and eat the user's hard drive, Keith Ralston of the group "Hoaxes, 
Internet Viruses, Etc." (also known as HIVE) replies with the following:

"When the computer scans the subject headers and locates the words 'virus,'
'viruses,' or 'viral,' the computer activates its internal defense system --
sector 076E-E6F1 of the CMOS -- to protect itself against anything hostile."

Let it be known that a workaround has been found to this: the HIVE mentality
has developed what they call "an ECM [Electronic Countermeasure, used in
stealth bombers to avoid radar] for viruses.  They have incorporated this into
a test virus.

This virus, known as the "NVA" virus (short for "New Virus Alert") is a
system-destroying virus that executes itself in any message labeled "New Virus
Alert" in the subject heading.  Yes, that includes this one.  As a matter of
fact, your computer is being infected as you read these very lines.

Expect the following to occur in the next 65,536 hours (haven't fixed that bug
yet, dammit!):

- Voltage to your monitor will adjust constantly, thereby rearranging the
  pixular array continually until they arrange themselves in the form of
  Saturday Night Fever's Tony Manero discoing your hard drive to death.
- Infection of all ISA, EISA, MCA, PCI, VESA, SCSI, and Greyhound bus slots in
  a search for your sound card.  Once located, it will find or create a kazoo
  MIDI patch that will play the "Song That Doesn't End" continually, even
  after shutting down.
- Changes in quantum physics, resulting in the immediate creation and
  destruction of billions of alternate universes.  (Bet you didn't know that
  viruses could do that, did you?)
- On the plus side, backs up your hard drive - right before it destroys it.

Sources from McAfee (makers of ViruScan, the premier antivirus software)
report this virus as potentially dangerous.  That's right, a janitor working
there was quoted as saying (after hearing about it over e-mail) that it
"sounds pretty bad...luckily, I have the top-of-the-line antivirus program in
the world...Central Point!"

I suggest passing this on to as many people as possible, because this is not
only a warning, but this is a good luck letter too.  The number of people you
send this message to will be the number of digits in your next job's annual
salary--in lira.