A Tribute to the Lord DV, the Man in Black A Star Wars Filksong by Lawrence Chu To the tune of "MiB" by Will Smith [Scene: Death Star Corridor. Door opens, out comes an Imperial Officer. As he walks down the hallway, the following is heard:] VO: We are the Empire's greatest division. Our mission is to eradicate all Rebel scum. We are the Empire's last, the best, are the only line of defense. [Officer speaks.] Officer: We work as tyrants, we exist all over. [Officer starts to gag. Pan left so see Darth Vader, arm held upwards.] Vader: You're trying my patience. Start the video. [Vader points to the camera, which blacks out, and starts the actual video:] Background Singers: Here comes the Man in Black... Vader: Here comes the Lord DV...Yeah, here comes the Lord DV! Background Singers: Here comes the Man in Black...a moment you'll remember. Vader (rapping): This bad guy dresses in black, remember that Just in case you ever mask-to-face and make contact Remember it's me, the Lord DV What you think you saw you did not see So Ben thought that I was dead and now I'm Gotta black suit with the Evil Side on. Walk in shadow, kill in silence Guard against the good Rebel Alliance But, hey I'm not just some old Lord of the Sith You'll just not exist-- if I'm cross and it's me you piss If you feel something strange then watch your back 'Cause you never quite know when the Lord DV will crack Oh, and, Chorus: Singers: Here comes the Man in Black... Imperial Defender... Here comes the Man in Black... A moment you'll remember... Vader: Now, from the deepest of the darkest of night on the horizon bright light enter sight tight Hold your breath when you see the Death--Star But then like BOOM a planet sees its doom. With the quickness threaten the princess-- Interrogator, me, Darth Vader, All her pleasant dreams turn to real loud screams "They're on Dantooine!" she pleads "You do what we say!" That's the way we kick it Let the Stormtrooper click it 'n get wicked on ya We're the first, last, and only line of defense Against the worst scum of the universe. So don't fear me, cheer me, if you ever get near me don't jeer me, oh dear me Lord DV takin' up no slack Stormtrooper: Who's that Sith Lord? Vader: The Man in Black. Uh, yeah. Background Singers: The Man in Black... Yeah, the Man in Black... [Shot: Imperial officers have now formed a circle around Vader. Chewbacca, who presumably has just escaped his guard, has leapt into the center of the circle. He bawls at Vader, who just stares at him. Chewbacca, after the roar, starts gagging, as Vader raises his hand slowly. He is obviously now under the influence of the Force. Upon that, the Imperial officers form a small square behind Vader and Chewie. They do the following as Vader recites them:] Vader: Lemme see you just breathe with me, just breathe with me, just breathe with me, come on, Lemme see you just fly, just fly, just fly, come on, now Lemme see you use the Force with me, use the Force with me, use the Force with me, come on, Make the neck work...now scream! [Chewie howls.] Chorus 2: Singers: Here comes the Man in Black... The galaxy destroyer... Here comes the Man in Black... Just watch out for his lawyer... Vader: All right, check it, lemme tell you this is closin' I know I might seem imposin' I'll tell you, if we show up in your sector Believe me, it's not 'cuz we're your protector I do things that you need not see, and I be things that you'll never be So go with your life, forget my farm boy son, Show love to this black suit 'cuz I'm the Man in... I'm the Man in... Alternate between Chorus and Chorus 2 repeatedly until: [Closing: Death Star Hangar bay. Upon seeing the Falcon escape, he stares at the camera and holds his hand up.] Vader: You have failed me for the last time. [Hand starts to close, camera points slowly down to the floor amidst gagging noises by cameraman, then fades to black.] This has been a Product of My Imagination chu_bear@hotmail.com