A Pretty Fine Iinazuke A Ranma 1/2 Filksong by Lawrence Chu To the tune of "Pretty Fly (for a White Guy)" by the Offspring All parts are spoken/sang by Ranma-kun unless otherwise mentioned. Katte ni kimeru na yo. Kawaiikune tomboy! [Nyaha! Nyaha!] Kawaiikune tomboy! [Nyaha! Nyaha!] Kawaiikune tomboy! [Nyaha! Nyaha!] Akane: And all the guys think I'm a pretty fine iinazuke. [Guitar riffs!] Akane: Ichi, ni, san, yo go, roku roku nan. You know how hard it is to get a load today Our subject, she ain't cute, but she thinks it anyway She may not have a clue or she may not have grace But when I point it out I get a hammer in my face! Akane: We won't be late if we go to school straight-- Kunou, he think's he's gonna get it on today, She's got sexless appeal but he still wants a feel Akane: From him? No way! From him? No way! She's gonna kick his face, wipe his ass over the place Then she'll finish off by throwing him into a lake, The world needs one of these, Hey! Hey! Don't use those pots and pans! Kawaiikune tomboy! [Nyaha! Nyaha!] Kawaiikune tomboy! [Nyaha! Nyaha!] Kawaiikune tomboy! [Nyaha! Nyaha!] Akane: And all the guys think I'm a pretty fine iinazuke. She tries to make me food and it's not a pretty sight When the book calls for ice cubes, she gets out some pickled mice Now cooking with a teapot, 'stead of tea she puts in grass If my dinner starts to move I'm gonna kick its lily ass! Akane: Now don't delay, eat away, You know I really wanna live another day Is this banana peel? Akane: No, it's just corn meal It is? No way! It is? No way! She overcompensates, serves dead roadkill on plates, I'll watch it hop and then I'll do a double-take, The world needs one of these, now Hey! Hey! Just put that table down! Now she's losing all her patience, Yeah, she's getting that done She'll use that foot of hers To send me flying to the sun Friends saying she's trying too hard Yeah, work on that kick, And in my mind I know I'm gonna get, get, that macho chick! Kawaiikune tomboy! [Nyaha! Nyaha!] Kawaiikune tomboy! [Nyaha! Nyaha!] Kawaiikune tomboy! [Nyaha! Nyaha!] Akane: Ichi, ni, san, yo go, roku roku nan. It will be great! I'm gonna set it straight! I don't hit girls but she'll feel it anyway I'll tell her how I feel, try to keep it real Uncute? No way! Uncute? No way! "Well Akane, great! You wanna go on a date?" The look on her face will go and really make my day The world needs one of these, The world loves one of these, yeah, I just love one of these, now, Hey! Hey! Akane, sukiyo! For those who haven't been on the FFML for too long and need translations: "Katte ni kimeru na yo" is "I didn't agree to this!" It's a line from the anime introduction. Don't ask who said it, I don't remember. "Iinazuke" is Japanese for "Fiance(e)." "Kawaiikune" is "Uncute." "Ichi," "ni," "mi," "yo," "go," "roku," "nana," and "ya" are all numbers (one through eight, respectively.) "Sukiyo" is basically "I like you...in a special way." I couldn't find a way to fit in "Aishiteru," the formal way of saying "I love you." This has been a Product of My Imagination chu_bear@hotmail.com